First of all anticipated, we have with our blog title is not promised too much . In fact, "no plan ..." But unfortunately, or perhaps because of the consequences.
After the fuck off most of our trip Hotel in Tashkent have left behind us, nor Plov and everything else that the neighboring Hergibt milk bar, tested and in fact: the food is excellent, reasonably priced and we have been playing with the idea of longer Tashkent stay and our bellies full strike. In the end, despite all our thoughts, we make games on the road to Tajikistan . 
It goes south and the VW bus makes funny noises. So fast yet at the roadside a few screws lashed sealed , an oil leak and some damage to the lower engine cover baggy . The noise remains (Broken wheel bearing?). 
The bus is reflected still bravely and slowly during the day is low, I drive in the third police control actually too fast. The policeman would have $ 60. I am not willing to pay the dollars, let me but unfortunately for negotiations - a mistake. It then ends with the fact that I am the policeman our last Uzbek Sum furious counter-value of 5 $ on the table and slam me he refused to shake hands. With a bad feeling in the stomach and the anticipation of finally Uzbekistan with its corrupt police officers to come out and normal service stations - not on the black market - to fill up, it goes without money but hopefully in the red light of the sunset towards Tajik border. 
The map shows a thick main road across the border into Tajikistan . After repeated requests, it turns out that there is no limit on this transition. But 80 km further east to the border to be crossed. The map shows there also a great road to Tajikistan . (Here are all the Central Asian travelers before the ( tear-resistant!) Map of the travel know - How warned publisher. While the errors that creep in again in the cards this publishing house somewhere else not so serious, are false kilometer data, border - and road courses in Central Asia fatal and can have fatal consequences! -So also with us:)
At dusk we try to do on the way there. Three times we lost our way on any fields, until we approached drive (finally) to a police check. The police tell us the way to the border and we follow their descriptions to a few concrete barriers on the road are. Quickly around it down, so that can only border post be. In pitch darkness, we roll on a bridge at the end is actually a military post. The closer we get to the post, the more clearer to us that there will not be the crossing point. At least we can ask the post for the right border crossing point . A single 19 year old soldier us coming up with stupid face. We ask for directions. He gives us to understand the only thing that is twenty yards further Tajikistan go away and that we must not pass by to the commander. The fast will be notified by radio. By the time he made it but has to move from the nearest pub to us, goes quite a long time. The Noodledude meanwhile, holds a nap, while I try using the old tried and tested means of the common cigarette with the border guards to engage in conversation. He does not smoke and as I pull on my cigarette and occasionally throw a few glances down into the dark waters of the Syr Darya , does not constitute a conversation. It is rather undecided how to evaluate us. Western spies, drug smugglers? What we do in this time and his checkpoints ? You can watch directly how his brain works. All the questions seem to concern him mad, while I am more concerned with the question whether his Kalashnikov is loaded and what conclusions he comes home. IT IS then at night a VW bus with Berlin's flag next to a confused border guard and smoking employees, whereas the Noodledude anfaÃĪngt to snore in the passenger seat.
rolled up as long as the commander with a helmet on a bike comes. Somewhere still jumps another soldier from the bushes. So we want then there. None of the soldiers can speak English and our Russian is also limited. We make it clear why we are staying at the Cretaceous us in this place. They make us realize that we are not allowed to stay in this place. As will the Noodledude says this was the moment where everything could have been clarified with no complications. Had the commander of the eggs we had, because of the obviousness that we do not vodka - are Martini drinking 00-agent to let go just in this moment, would have the entire matter for both sides can dissolve into thin air. That would certainly have been for both sides the best. But stupid, stupid police and military are the rule in Central Asia and the courage to choose something themselves, no one has before. So we go to the barracks. Where we will have two fully armed soldiers there kutschieren need. In the barracks, then try the general, or whoever he was always surrounded by 10 soldiers to call a friend who will translate. Unfortunately, the local mobile network is not longer able to make a call by 30 seconds. Thus, all very pointless and I leave the communication to the Noodledude . There are written protocols to be signed by us. The Noodledude refuses. As the night progresses, we passed to the local militia .
now take not only two but three or four soldiers with us. The guns fit at least felt no longer in the bus. In the militia, we first have to drive around a roadblock and then directly to the Soviet-lit and walled courtyard. We are led into an interrogation room or even the office of the on-duty police thugs, and I remember me immediately to my various films characterized by notions of interrogations in the former GDR. The ND is further recalled that he had to sign a log. He also refuses to persevere. The atmosphere is unpleasant and it is clear to us that today we evening not be looking for a nice place to stay. We are thus recorded and us as a sleeping place is available in the cell, we insist on sleeping in the car and go in any case in the cell. So down locked in the yard. But not to bed, without which the bus is inspected yet. While on duty Fetti currently on the Driver's seat, settles, and searched the bus piece by piece, all groped and opened, we are quite helplessly. It's actually just about to humiliate us and I am in this moment the first time really happy that we are not traveling with a woman. His hands find the Netbook . He immediately wants to see photos from Germany. He has exceeded the limit of our privacy. This is the moment where we draw the line and determined unanimously exactly say that this is not it. The policeman is surprised, but wanted to try it just seems really, how far he can go. He probably has not garnichtmal a great interest in viewing photos. He was more about our humiliation. His power and area of expertise seems to be so small that he does not dare to go one step further. Slowly, he pulls off.
With Asked alarm clock and a promise that tomorrow will edit the militia leader at nine and continue our case, we may then, we disturbed sleep in the car on the closed-off courtyard of the prison.
But still: The title of our blog we have been justified: "No plan to Tajikistan."
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